It’s been a long 3 days.

The husband had the nerve to go to Texas for work, clearly not his fault, and I’ve been fending for myself with my two monkeys.  The good news is, I know he will be home to help with bedtimes tomorrow, and this isn’t my situation forever.  Anyone reading this who is a single parent or has a spouse who travels frequently, I commend you!!  (And I wish we were neighbors so we could hang during all this alone time!)

Monday wasn’t so bad, it was day 1.

Tuesday seemed like it was 48 hours (instead of the 13 hours I spent with the kids while they were actually awake).  There were multiple meltdowns, me included, and due to the kids both waking up twice Monday night to potty or just to complain, (thanks 6 year old!); I was exhausted.

Today feels like it should be a Friday instead of a Wednesday.

I hit a wall today.  The morning seemed to drag on forever, and literally every five minutes I swear the kids were fighting about something.  Someone touched the other one’s toy, someone looked at someone, etc.

In the afternoon the son had his 3 year old check up.  Afterwards, I was just drained.  In an effort to “get healthier,” I had told myself I wouldn’t get Starbucks until Friday.  (Baby steps people.)  Well, that didn’t last.  (Let’s be serious, that was just setting me up for failure!)  I went straight for the Starbucks drive thru after, because I earned it!  Right?!

While driving home, latte in hand, I had an inner struggle.

When we got home, I really wanted to put the son down for a nap.   There would be an hour left before the bus brought the daughter home.  I wanted a nap myself.  Yes, I’ll admit it, somedays when I’m exhausted, I take a quick nap if the son will.  I have no shame.

Well, I knew if I did this the hour would fly by too quickly, I would wake up groggy, and most likely it would make the night drag on.  I had a serious chat with myself, and decided I needed to do the exact opposite of what I wanted to do.  I needed to get moving and go for a walk.  (It really might be our last day of warm weather, I’m not complaining too much, it is February in the Chicagoland area and it’s almost 70 degrees today.)

I needed to do this for me.  I needed to get out, throw the son in the jogging stroller, and just check out for awhile.  It wasn’t really about the excercise, although that was a plus, it was more about the mental escape I needed from being a full time mom over the past few days.

Somehow my will power won, and I came home and did just that.  A little Rhianna and Bruno Mars on the headphones (the only way I can listen to them anymore) did just the trick too.  I did feel a tiny bit guilty when I left the boxer at home, but he won’t go very far anymore and honestly, he’s a lot to handle the first half a mile and I needed a break, not another thing to stress me out.  Mom guilt even applies to dogs it turns out!

The walk was exactly what I needed.

I zoned out.  I thought about how next year the son and daughter will have overlapping school times and I’ll be able to do this solo.  Occasionally I had to field questions from the son, but that was something I could handle.

Towards the end of the walk, he wanted to get out and walk too.  (I had to make it close enough to the bus stop that our turtle pace would get us home in time before the daughter arrived.)  Once we were on the same block as the bus, he took off and loved his freedom.

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If any of you hit a wall like I do from time to time, I hope you have something you can do to break through.  I’m proud I was able to muster enough will power to get out today.  I’m not always this strong… some days I choose the nap and guess what, that’s okay too.

Here’s hoping Friday comes sooner than it feels.  (And here’s hoping I can get a much needed break once the husband arrives back to the Midwest.)