I seem to be on a bit of an emotional roller coaster.

First of all, how can you already be ready for full day school?

Wasn’t it just yesterday I was bringing you home from the hospital?  I still remember the look of fear your dad and I had as we strapped you into the car seat carrier for the first time.  How were we fit to care for such a tiny human?  Why didn’t the hospital provide a nurse to come home with us to show us the ropes?  It was the biggest leap of faith I had ever taken. Luckily, we survived, and so did you.

Somehow your first years went by and then preschool reared it’s head.

I still remember being a hot mess the morning we dropped you off for your “Soon to be 3’s” class.  I blamed the tears on my hormones (being pregnant with your brother did not help my fragile, emotional state).  Of course, you walked right into the classroom, never looking back.  I should have known then, that you were going to be a force to be reckoned with.

I’m pretty confident we were all ready for you to start Kindergarten.

Three years of preschool and more years of watching that big school bus drive down our street had gotten all of us excited for Elementary school.  I love how my biggest worry wasn’t if you’d like your new school, or if you’d make new friends; I knew you would.  No, my biggest worry was if you’d physically get on the bus when the first day rolled around.  (I had no idea where the school drop off line was and I didn’t want to experiment with this on your very first day!) Well, you surprised us all and hopped  right on, not knowing a single person on that bus.  No tears from you, but of course, unexpected tears from me.  (No more pregnant hormones to blame the emotions on this time though!)

your first time getting on a bug

Now it’s the night before your last day of Kindergarten.

I should be more excited in this moment.  You’ll be a first grader, spending a full day at school learning and eating lunch with your friends.  I’ve been (selfishly) dreaming of this time in our lives for a little while now.  You’re ready to soar and I’m ready to let you.  I will get alone time again, about three plus years in the making.  This is a great thing, right?!

So tell me this… why am I an emotional wreck yet again?

Life is about to drastically change for all of us, and maybe I need a bit more time to wrap my head around having a first grader.  I’m not old enough to have a first grader, okay I am, but I like to tell myself this tiny lie.  Good thing the summer is a couple of months and we have some time for this.

I’ll find a way to keep it together tomorrow when you step off that bus for the last time as a Kindergartener.  There might be a tear or two, but I think you’re beginning to know that’s just how this momma is.

I love you kid and I am so excited for what you have in store for this world… and for your new teacher next year!