Week 1 of potty training has officially commenced and the struggle is real.  Anyone who tells you “after 3 days of potty training my kid took to it and is completely potty trained” is either lying to your face or is in complete denial.  Yes, I said it.  There is no way any little human can be completely potty trained that quickly.  If this really is the case, and they really are from this planet, then I need to find them and hire them asap to finish the potty training job with my son.

Wanna know the truth?  Potty training sucks.

My soon to be 3 year old is a champ though, I’ll give him that.

He likes to scream “pee is coming” which can mean one of three things I’ve learned:

1)  He is actually peeing all over my floor.

2)  He needs to pee and I have mere seconds to run him over to the bathroom, get his pants down and get him on the potty before he does so.

OR

3)  He’s just kidding.  He sure knows how to keep it fun!

We hit a new hurdle a few days into potty training that I wasn’t expecting.  Turns out, splash from poop going into the potty is traumatizing to little kids.  After that moment, the son decided he no longer would poop on the toilet.  Fantastic!  That just made my life about 1,000% harder.  Not only was I the monitor of when he needed to try to use the bathroom, but now I also had to be on the lookout for a hiding toddler pooping in the shadows.  Great!

In one day we went from having four days of zero accidents, to having three accidents in the house.  Yes, one day.  Why?  Well, maybe it was because I left the house, or maybe it’s because potty training takes FOREVER.  Just when you think your kid has mastered the skill, they send you a reminder that it’s really all luck.  Set the timer parents, and hope your kid pees and poops on schedule.  Need to run to the store?  It soon becomes one of the most frightening hours of your life!  (I am trying to steer clear of Pull-Ups unless he’s at preschool, napping or sleeping.  Why?  For one reason to save money; I just got the kid out of diapers and now I have to buy hundreds of Pull-Ups?  I also like to think he is learning the difference between just wearing underwear vs. anything with a Pull-Up.  Yes, I might be delusional, I know.)

Want to know how we got this boy to actually poop on the potty today?

It was the definition on insanity.  We tried several times on the potty where he then caught on and started basically planking on the toilet seat in protest.  Then, after seeing him turning red in the corner several times, we tried watching the I-Pad on the potty to “make it fun.”  When that didn’t work, we resorted to “poop walks” around the house.  Yes, you read it right, “poop walks.”  Literally marching around the house, half naked (the toddler not us), and doing random squats and lunges to get the poop moving.  (Thank goodness no one showed up at our front door!)  Somehow all of this caused the little man to finally go on the potty.  Let me tell you this… if you think for a second the fact that he went on the potty means he’s actually potty trained, then I’d say you need to reconsider what “trained” actually means.

If you learn anything from all of this let it be this:  Potty training is HARD and it takes forever.  Literally… maybe when he’s in junior high school we will have it figured out.