My kids lost their sh*t today during our 9 minute car ride home from preschool.  If you’re wondering how all of this could go down in a less than 10 minute drive, let me fill you in on the fun.

To start our ride off with a bang, the minivan next to me decided to park near inches away from our SUV. Of course the toddler didn’t want to go into his car seat, so he performed the “noodle” on me.  Not only was I barely able to squeeze my body into the backseat door, but now my kid decided he didn’t have armpits anymore for me to lift him by.  He just cried, threw his arms in the air and noodled.  I literally was sweating after bending, bribing and shaping him into his car seat.

Before we even left the parking lot, the daughter growled at my son causing World War 3 to break out.  Soon the son was calling her a “bad boy” aka “the meanest word I can call you” and the daughter was doing the whole “no, you’re a bad boy” back.  (Not even on the road yet!)

What’s a mom to do?!  Tell them to stop and turn the radio up of course.  Thankfully, the song that came on was Justin Timberlake’s song from “Trolls” which both my kids love.  I thought I was in the clear but of course it’s never that easy!  The son started crying and screaming yet again.  Why this time?!  The daughter had the nerve to dance; and of course once she knew this angered her brother, she took her dancing to a whole new level of crazy. Tears were flowing, kids were yelling and I was counting down the last 5 minutes of our drive home.

The next few minutes there was a shoe thrown, several more “bad boys” yelled, and an entire magnet drawing board somehow made its way to the passenger’s front seat.  Seriously, enough.

Like any mom would have done in my situation, I mumbled something (not appropriate) under my breath, pulled into the driveway, and then walked into the house for a minute of silence before coming back to the garage and letting my monsters out of the car.

I don’t wonder why I am jealous of the husband’s long commute to work WITHOUT the offspring in tow.