Like most days recently, I started my day off judging how my stomach didn’t shrink as much as I had hoped it would after a night of sleeping.  Is it terrible that I think I’ll just lose some weight from sleeping?  I’m sure I’ll lose some of the bloating right?!  Well, it’s a far fetched dream, but I’m being honest here.

Why am I so hard on myself?!

I had two kids.  I’m in my mid-thirties.  I’m not spending my free time working out anymore; instead I’m using it for a minute alone which sometimes includes an indulgent snack or a “mommy drink.”  (Yes, I eat my feelings!)  I choose to live how I want to live in order to survive the young children phase of life.  I should be okay with the consequences (and rewards) from my decisions, right?

Well, turns out it’s not that easy.

I am my hardest critic.

When I don’t fit “like I used to” into a pair of pants, I take it personally.  I start to think “I’m fat,” or “I’m so mad at myself.”  It doesn’t help me at all, this negativity.  But it’s real, and it’s me right now.

I can be having a good day, where I didn’t  wear a swimsuit or shorts that remind me of how far I still have to go.  Those days usually end quickly when I see a friend with abs (like actual I work out abs) on Facebook, or see yet another advertisement with perfect looking moms in swimsuits.  (Can’t there be “real” models with muffin top to show me the latest trends from Athleta?)

I know this is wrong, but it’s real.  I can’t be the only one out there right now with these thoughts going through my head.

It’s true, and it needs to stop.

I need to be good with me.

All sizes of me and all stages of me.  I might not be at my ideal weight right now, but man am I amazing at putting laundry away.  I might not have my hair perfectly done, but I can make my children smile from ear to ear.  I should focus on the positive more, like how I have genuine friends who want to see me versus the fact that I don’t have a million friends.  It’s hard, it’s true.

We all can do better with being kind to ourselves.

Recently, on a family trip, the husband took this photo above.  I was wanting to use a new photo on my blog page, and thought what a better setting than the scenic views of Vail.  Well, my dreams were shattered when I saw how terrible I looked in this photo above.  My body shape was rounded and my legs weren’t the defined legs they once were.  To say I was disappointed would be a huge understatement.  I didn’t like this photo because I looked… well, like me.  How ridiculous is this?!

Enough with my impossible standards for myself.

It’s time to put on those rose colored goggles and see what really is in this picture.  A mom, a wife, and a friend, who is dedicated to everyone else a little more than herself right now.  A woman who is tired, but who is also enjoying everything about being in her thirties with her family.  So what if I’m a little more pudgy than I’d like?!  I have time, and when I’m ready to get cracking, I will.  So what if I have new wrinkles and gray hairs?  It’s life, and clearly I’m living it the best I can.

Moms, start using positive self talk and tell all that negativity to go away.  You’re beautiful and trust me, to your family, you are the most wonderful and beautiful person in the world.