I’m determined not to let my daughter’s pants ruin my day.

Yes, you did just read that.  Who knew a pair of pants could cause such drama?!  Well, let me tell you firsthand that leggings can turn a perfectly normal morning on its head, and fast.

Being a bit of a lazy mom, I grabbed the closest pair of clean pants for the six year old to wear this morning.  It was a decision that has been haunting me ever since.  She saw the pants and immediately lost her mind.  How dare I grab the black leggings.  What was I thinking?!  What a mean mom I am.  She first refused to wear them because they are “too girly,” and then continued to throw a toddler-like tantrum the entire time she pulled them onto her little legs.

If you’re wondering, it turns out pants can cause a child’s legs to bleed.

I am in my thirties and had no clue this was even possible, but the daughter educated me about this today.  The stretchy cotton can grab hold of a leg and squeeze it until it bleeds.  Someone really should write Old Navy and let them know if this before it causes a child severe injuries.

Also, turns out if pants are an inch shorter than the ankle bone that they make it impossible to walk.

Who knew?!  No joke, the daughter, once wrangled into these deadly pants, was moving at the pace of a snail carrying a case of beer on its back.  Sadly, there was no beer for me to enjoy while watching this charade, but the thought of one did help me smile a bit.  I was also informed that frost bite, in fifty degree weather, would set in if I was going to make her wear these pants outside.  I (somehow) kept it together and told her that was a risk I was willing to take.

Threats soon followed.

She was going to tell her teacher how terrible of a mom I am.  She was going to also tell her principle on me and make sure she knew I was an unfit mother.  Good lord!!  It doesn’t end.  By this point I had checked out.  I was counting down the minutes until the bus came and I could watch her march onto her bus in those inch too short, way too tight, wrong colored pants.

No way was I going to let her change her pants now.  Someday she will learn.  She’ll learn if she could have a rational conversation about clothing and actually walk up to her room to grab another pair, that all of this can be avoided.  Until then, I’m gonna pat myself of the back for not giving into this tiny dictator.